Wednesday, December 31, 2008

SMS Jokes


The following SMS Jokes was received from an office mate via e-mail. Enjoy!

***
A Filipino, a Black man, and a White guy are in a bar having a drink.
When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, “Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can have me for tonight.”
So the White guy says “I love liver and cheese.”
She says “That’s not good enough”
The Black man says “I hate liver and cheese”
She says “That’s not creative”
Finally, the Filipino says “Liver alone, cheese mine!”
***

A man joined a big Multi-National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee quickly!” The voice from the other side responded,” You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?“

“No”, replied the trainee.

“It’s the CEO, you fool! I can fire you out of this company!”

The man shouted back, “I don’t give a damn fucking shit! And do you know who YOU are talking to, you asshole?”

“No.”, replied the CEO.
“Good!” replied the trainee and put down the phone!

***

Finale
INTERVIEWER: “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!”

The boy thought for a while and said,

BOY: “my choice is one really difficult question.”
INTERVIEWER: “Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. “What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said,

BOY: “It’s the DAY sir!”
INTERVIEWER: “How?”
BOY: “Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

***

His wife being eight months pregnant, poor husband has had to sleep on the floor and this had made him desperate for sex.

One night as she lay on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor guy curled up on the floor, eyes staring widely into the empty air.

Feeling sorry for her husband, she takes her wallet and fishes out P500 and gives it to him. “Here, take this and go to the woman next door, and she will let you sleep with her tonight. But remember that this happens only once, okay? Don’t ask me to do this again.”

The husband rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she might change her mind, grabs the money, and leaves quickly.

A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back to the wife, and says with much disappointment, “She said this is not enough, she wants P600.”

The wife’s face slowly turns red with anger. “Damn that bitch! When she was pregnant and her husband came over here, I only charged him P500!”

***

7 tawa sa TEXT:
1.Haha-masayahin
2.Hehe-malib0g
3.Harhar-pas0si
4.Bwahaha-bruha
5.Hihi-pacute
6.Hekhek-pang-asar
7.Jeje-virgin

kaya ingat sa pagtawa. Hehe.. Este Jeje pala!

7 comments:

  1. "liver alone cheese mine!"
    -hehehihi
    ---malibog na pacute!

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahaha!! ok yan ahh.. malibog na pa-cute.. magaya nga.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yung hakhak tawang adik yun. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. natawa naman ako dito...


    Jijijiji = virgin na pacute nyahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  5. 2.Hehe-malib0g

    putek yan

    hehe

    ReplyDelete
  6. hi mon! tgal ko di nagawi...busy...
    Haha
    Hehe
    Harhar
    Bwahaha
    Hihi
    Hekhek
    Jeje ^,^


    anu ba yan...lahat ako eh..

    ReplyDelete

Please don't be hard on me. ♥

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